


Monsters Inside of Me

by phix27



Category: Original Work
Genre: eating disorder tw, self-confidence issues, this might be a little dark so be warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-04
Updated: 2015-10-04
Packaged: 2018-04-24 20:37:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4934422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phix27/pseuds/phix27
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I’ve been thinking a lot about the monster inside of me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Monsters Inside of Me

I’ve been thinking a lot about the monster inside of me.  It sits low in my stomach and gnaws and gnaws until all I can feel is hunger.  It’s raw and powerful and all consuming.  I try to feed it, but it’s never enough.  I give it anything it could ask for- pizza and cookies and hearts and bones.  Still it gnaws and growls and cries “more, more!”  This monster in my stomach is never appeased, no matter how hard I try.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the monster inside of me.  It sits in my heart and waits and waits.  This monster, it does not growl or gnaw.  It waits and whimpers and asks “what about me, what about me?”  I try to feed it, my god do I try, but it will take nothing but crumbs.  I feed it confidence and beauty and affirmations and friendship but still it whimpers and curls in on itself.  One day I fear this monster will die, and I don’t know what I will do then.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the monster inside of me.  It sits in my head and whispers.  It’s cloyingly sweet but it’s also disgustingly sour.  “You’re ugly,” it whispers even as it tries to make me more beautiful with makeup and music.  “You’re beautiful,” it coos, even as I can’t get out of bed and can’t make my limbs move.  This monster, it’s contradictory but still I try to feed it.  I offer it books and lectures and research but this monster is a picky eater.  I never know what it wants today, so I keep trying.  But it never stops, it never shuts off, and so even though it whispers, this monster is the loudest of them all.  One day, I fear this monster will take over everything I have to offer.

**Author's Note:**

> If by chance someone did read this, thank you! I posted this here on a whim. So if you read it, a comment and/or kudos would be appreciated.


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